Living & loving in life…

Ok so I never thought I would understand the words. Even if you had asked me 4 months ago I would’ve told you that you were delusional and that such a thing didn’t exist simply because I couldn’t see it and had never felt it.

I was wrong.

Living and loving life is being able to wake up and smile.

I think that’s the basic flat out foundation of the whole dam thing. But to know that someone, even if they aren’t right next to you, truly cares for you deep in their soul and being. And to know that you have that same care deep down in the fibers of your being that you didn’t know existed either. That builds it up so much more. To be able to share every little thought from the silliest to the most serious, to be able to voice any little or big thing that happens to pop into your brain and not worry that they are going to look at you like your from another planet. That is all part of the ultimate love in life.

Just a short time ago, I was at a point in my life where I had decided to give up on love and to give up on finding someone to spend my life with. I told myself that there wasn’t anyone for me out there, and even if there was chances were I’d missed him, and even if I did find someone I would screw things up to where it wouldn’t work out anyway. So I decided to let it go, and to focus on being here for my children for now, and after that, what I would do, I had no idea. It is amazing what can happen when you let yourself free like that. Not sure how it happened or who I am to have deserved to finally have found him, but I have. It’s one of the most amazing things on this earth, alongside having my children. Except this was somthing completely unexpected and so perfectly right.

The sun feels that much brighter, the wind this much cooler, the smells of the rain on a stormy day that much sweeter. This love has inspired me and awaken me to finally and fully live my life.

I am so grateful for that.